Long Time Passing.

Passages of Dark

LONG TIME PASSING.

photo and text by:  Aria E. Appleford (http://neoscii.blogspot.com/)

When my husband became ill and died at a very early age, I was forced to confront a few facts about life. The most significant was that for the first time in my life there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. I was not in charge of the universe. That realization, however amusing it is now to think I ever thought I could be, was a turning point of my life and one of the profound gifts given to me with the loss of my husband.

Learning to live each day in complete ambiguity forced me to stop trying to plan and manage everything. Living in a constant state of crisis forced me to have to learn to act in the worst circumstances and not just give in to my gut reaction. My husband died from a rare blood disorder after suffering for 3 years. It was 3 years of rushing him to hospital every couple of days, being told he would not make it through the night – call the family in, and then have him miraculously pull through and be sent home. There was no treatment, no cure, only excruciating pain that took away the man I knew as my husband, long before he ever passed.

In the many hours in the family room at emergency waiting for answers, I learned to be very alone, I learned to be silent, and I learned to listen. Answers came – probably not the answers I wanted, but the answers I needed. I found that I could breathe and put one foot in front of the other, even if I was not exactly clear on where I was going. It became a huge relief to realize no-one had ever asked me to manage everything – except maybe myself – and that there was a far greater wisdom available that could see and understand all that I could not.

With this came the blessing of time with my husband before he died – time to just be. Time to listen to him and share his last moments and needs. I learned that death is a very personal journey and I was honoured and privileged to be a small part of this man’s life and his passing. I was blessed beyond measure, as always, by the lessons gained. I have never again asked for the reins back and my life has been transformed completely. It would have been lovely to have learned this in happier circumstances, but I didn’t.

Silva Ultramind and the teachings of Jose Silva provide the ways for you to learn to master self.  No matter how difficult your situation may be right here and right now, if you can stop, be quiet and listen … you may find within that situation, the very answers for your life

 
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